BLOG #4- Divorce

I have read quite a few of the other blogs on divorce and it is ironic because many people who chose to write their blogs about divorce come from divorced parents.  I was debating on what topic from the course I would choose to write my final blog on because my parents are still married…happily married. I still think however even though my parents are still together that my opinions on divorce as well as input on a happy marriage can make for an interesting blog.

I agree with some of my fellow students in that divorce can be a good thing if a marriage is causing dysfunction and fighting in the family. There are some examples even with some of my friends who say that growing up all they remember was arguing and fighting and sometimes even physical abuse. I believe that this can take a toll on the children in the family and divorcing in this example is appropriate. I also believe that some people get married too young and perhaps over time they change into two different people who are no longer happy so perhaps divorce then is appropriate.  

I also believe that way too many people get divorced too soon. My mom and dad for example have been married for 28 years they have been together for 33 years. I have seen them go through ups and downs in their marriage but they didn’t just give up. They worked hard at keeping the family together and they worked hard at compromising with each other. I find today many people give up too easily.

I have also seen struggles people go through to pay the other person off after they get divorced.  A close friend of mine got divorced and his wife was concerned with money. Her focus wasn’t on their child and how to make the family work still, she was concerned with how much money he made and how much money he is going to owe her. I feel like examples such as this are reasons why people are choosing not to get married at all. This real life example of a friend of mine reminded me of Erera’s study from the course. How many men feel a sense of powerlessness regarding their status, child support, and where they stand in the courts.  My friend was a hard-working man who owned his own house and provided for his son. He was going through so much drama with his ex and so much stress in the courts about custody.

I find more focus needs to be on children when it comes to divorce. Even reading some of the other blogs it is clear that for the most part when parents divorce it has a long term effect on the children. Whether there is hatred for the one parent, or not having a proper mother or father figure growing up. Or perhaps the truth about the divorce is hidden from the children until they are older. I believe keeping the children involved in the process of divorce and making sure that the children aren’t used is crucial for how divorce will affect them later on in life.